Thursday, September 18, 2014

LOTFP MU Variant: Smell Wizards

1. Bookspeak Smell Book. Dust is made of people. Learn one person who has read this book, or learn if one specific person recad this book.
2. Charm Person (With Pheremones). reatures who fail their save can only attempt another save later when not in (Charisma) feet of you.
3. Comprehend Languages Scents. You have the nasal intelligence of a dog, and can CSI the smells in a room. Can be cast backwards to Obscure Scent.
4. Detect Magic (like normal except instead of a bright outline anything magic smells like chocolate chip cookies. Minor enchantments are generic store brand Chips Ahoy, powerful artifacts are specifically the homemade from scratch recipe your own mother made for your birthday party...your LAST birthday party, after which no one could say you weren't an adult, not the priests, not the watchmen, not the coroner)
5. Enlarge (Same, sense of smell improves at larger size, decreases at smaller size)
6. Faerie Fire Frankin-Sense. Target instead fairly reeks of the finest incense and oils from exotic and alien lands. Confers same bonus.
7. Feather Fall (You have yo place your finger aside of your nose, like Santa Claus and Henry Gondorff holy shit i just got that line)
8. Floating Disc (Same I guess? Actually hell let's say the disc follows you by scent, why now?)
9. Hold Portal (Damn it same, give a Smell Wizard an option to reroll if they get this)
10. Identify By Smell
11. Light Smell. Confers the ability to navigate by smell alone with darkvision clarity. Cast in reverse it not only prevents people from smelling you but clouds it with suck an odor that those affected are stuck blind, tears streaming from their eyes.
12. Magic Aura Smelly Cloud. A fake out for Detect Magic using the leather chemical afterglow of ancient grimoire bindings, or the ability to cast backwards and make something magic detect as mundane mung beans.
13. Magic Missile Stench. They take the same damage from Magic Missile but the cause is the paroxysms the target undergoes as they retch from their own stink and from the biting flies which magically appear about the target.
14. Mending (SAME. You can reroll this if you want. I guess you get to decide what mundane [nonmagical] scent the repaired item takes on forever. Like the spray at the car wash.)
15. Chemical Message. You huff and puff and blow a message toward your desired recipient. They smell your magical breath and understand the intent of your message. They may blow you back a message, which you can easily understand.
  • Read Magic. Sure.
16. Shield (Same but you basically look like somewhere between Pigpen and Magneto, a force field of stink lines)
17. Sleep (Chamomile, vanilla, lavender, and magic envelop the target. Powerful smelling salts counteract this.)
18. Spider Climb (You know what? Let's do a gross one. Your nose hairs get all long and drag you up the walls, like Medusa from the Fantastic Four.)
19. Summon (Scented candles, brimstone, charcoal, sweat, Summon is made for Smell Wizards. You have to have something your summoned entity thinks smells good.)
20. Unseen Servant (Presence only detectable due to faint waft of the beach where no beach should be.)